Park Dates for Dummies

Why do we use the phrase “it’s a walk in the park” to mean something is easy? The only answer I can think of is that whoever coined that saying did not have any children with them at the park. Each additional child you take the park is a multiplier. Where will I change diapers? Do we have enough snacks? Where is the closest restroom? What happens when my kid insists on going down the wet slide and we drove Daddy’s car so the stock change of clothes is still at home? (Yep, that was me. I’m almost six years into this gig and I can still find myself at the park, in below 50 degree weather, on a windy day, with a wet kid and no dry pants for him. It’s fun being real!)

Here is my list of what I pack to go to the park. (Your list might be different, I’m just trying to make a point here.)

• Water bottles (x3)
• Snacks- enough for my kids and some to share, because they are perfectly capable of feeding all their goldfish to some cutie they just met and then complaining that they are hungry.
• Diaper Bag, including my phone and/or camera, keys, and wallet.
• Change of clothes (x2)
• Towel for wiping off wet equipment
• Sunscreen
• Sunglasses (x2- littlest dude still won’t wear them but medium size dude sometimes will.)
• Sun hats (x3) we try not to lose too many, but the dudes tend to leave them lying around and then not remember where they put them.
• Bug repellant- don’t forget you need the “baby friendly” kind if your kid is below the age cutoff for the toxic stuff that works.
• Toys- I know, right? Isn’t the park supposed to be entertainment in and of itself? But fates forfend that we end up at the park and some other kid has a toy and MINE DON’T. Because that kid will not want to share and mine will not take “that is not your toy, go run” for an answer.
• Stroller- depending on how far from the road the play equipment is, I might need the jogging stroller. This way I can lug all our junk and control my toddler as we return to the parking lot.
• Whistle- I have trained my kid and his friends to come running when I blow the whistle. It’s the only way I could think of to give my big kid enough freedom while maintaining adequate supervision over my little kid. Yes, people stare at me when I blow it. No, I do not care.
• Lollipops, to randomly reinforce the response to the whistle. I buy the organic, no food coloring kind in bulk. Laugh, but it works.

Doesn’t it make you wonder how we ever make it to the park before nap time? (And I bet you thought of something I left off my list, didn’t you? That’s because you’re awesome. Put it in the comment box down there. Thanks!)